I can’t believe 2017 is almost over. In just 2 days, we will say goodbye to all the tears and success this year has brought us.

For me, it was a mixture of joys, travel, and tears. My business has taken a back seat this year while family time took over. No regrets there, and I am glad I gave it my best to spend as much quality time with my kids and loved ones.

As I sit here and reflect on my year that was, I realized that most of my failures this year and the past 2 years, was because of a bad cycle of self-sabotage. Yes… I murdered my own success, not just once but I do it over and over.

Last 2014, when I won a Bschool Scholarship – I’ve set myself a 3-year plan – that by 2017 I will be financially fulfilled, working in my own business empire – new office and perhaps  10 employees. I was able to accomplish some of it within the first year, rented a small office space, hired several employees, worked with top-notch clients. But then, just when I reached my peak, I started spiraling downwards.

Self-doubt crept in. I started questioning whether I even deserve all the success. I listened to all the negative thoughts in my head and worst is that I let that fear take over. I dove into a habit of procrastination and listened to unhelpful thoughts 24/7.

“Ella, this won’t work…”

“They can find someone else better than you”

“Why should they trust you again, when you just keep letting them down?”

“You will always be a failure”

“You will never be good enough….”

Now that I’ve reached the end part of 2017, I realized failed in achieving my goal.

And it’s okay.

It’s okay because I forgive myself for all the failures and mistakes that I made. I am not perfect, and I never will be. But with God’s grace, I will learn from these mistakes and start again. This is what New Year’s are for right? For new beginnings.

It’s okay because even if I lost in some areas, I have 2018 to regain and focus on it. It’s time to think bigger and expand my horizons.

If this is true for you too, I feel you, and we’re in this together. Let’s both start a process of change for 2018. Let’s forgive ourselves for all the disappointments and move to the new year with forgiveness and courage. Courage to change for the better, courage to take bigger risks and make bolder decisions that will lit our sparkle. Courage and faith to hush down that demon deep within.

Answer this: What would I do differently this 2018, given another chance?

Grab your pen and paper and start writing your heart out. Be specific when writing your action plans. Post it on your home office to remind you of the changes we need to take to make our 2018 better.

Tonight, as I go to bed, I will include you in my prayers, that may we both be victorious in overcoming our inner demons thru God’s guidance and help. May God make your 2018 abundant.